Mike's Christmas Shopping Postulate: One cannot purchase an excellent gift for another who's net disposable income is greater than one's own gross income.
I just came up with another postulate, so shall I state:
Mike's Stinky Postulate: As one works towards removing a smell, so doth a new equal smell from one's self emit.
So in essense, cleaning is a moot activity as you'll just get so sweaty that you stink the room up just as much as it already did. (i never claimed they were accurate)