"Can you tell me what I have on my account?"
"You have the Internet service and digital television."
"Ok, do I have any add ons?"
"Let me look... yes, it says you have the speed add-on."
"Do I have anything else?"
"Let me look again. Also, you have the 5 IP option."
"Is there an option to have only 2 IPs?"
"Nope. I'm sorry sir."
"Well, you used to have one."
"Hold on while I ask... yes sir, we do have that option. Would you like me to change your account to that?"
"Nope, I just wanted you to confirm it exists. Please inspect my modem and verify that it's not set to 2 IPs".
A minute later my internet connection went out. I panicked for a moment, but then it came back up with 5 IPs.
The jerk I got for the third call in started berating me over how I was making the Internet sluggish. I think I used the wrong approach with him, as I came off as technical. With the fourth call, I feigned network ignorance until it was too late, and she got my account properly configured. Or maybe the third guy was just a jerk. Either way, we have 5 IP addresses, at long last. Between an overbearing previous roommate who wouldn't share the account info for changes, and this, I've been waiting 8 months...